Friday, February 26, 2010

Have Fun!


I have no idea why this irritates me so badly but it does. I'm heading out the door with the rug-rats in tow off to some horrid Dr. appointment where they're going to stick my children with needles, and they're going to scream and they're going to be wild and I'm going to die and as I'm glumly anticipating all of this horror Russ sends me off with a "have fun!". Seriously?! Have fun?! Do you remember where I'm going, what I'm doing and with whom? And even if I'm going somewhere that might possibly be pleasant if I wasn't having to drag the screaming, whining, very tantrumy children along with me, this phrase is not allowed. Because as I'm pulling out, imagining him all alone in a quiet house, making big deals and my head is pounding with the high pitched wails of unhappy girls, I REALLY, really don't want to hear "have fun". So I think the next time he's off to have five root canals I think I'll smile and in all seriousness tell him, "have fun"!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Scrounge


Humiliation is bending over a trash can at Target, while you scrounge around for two gooey receipts that you so stupidly threw away. I swear, I could have warmed a small village with the heat that was emanating from my tomato-red face. I'm seriously riffling in the trash for five solid, longest minutes of my life. But I was going to get that $10.36 back that the employee overlooked! I'm so cheap. I'm so lame.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I'm Here to Save Your Thursday


The one domestic chore I actually love is cooking. But cooking and kids doesn't always seem to mix for us. Somehow flour ends up everywhere, egg shells in the batter and me tearing my hair out because I feel like Gen and Hannah have made a concerted effort to be as destructive as possible. So when it gets to be dinner fixin' time, I mostly groan and sometimes I'm despising the upcoming task so much, that I rely on some very sweet, fast food options. So I'm here to save your Thursday and your sanity.

Pizza

Mondays

This month Papa John's has a large, one-topping pizza for $5.99. So no more of the nasty Little Ceasar's slop.

Tuesdays and Thursdays


5 Buck pizza is tasty and ever so much better than the Caesar joint. On these two days they feature a one-topping, medium pizza for $2.99

Other


Tuesdays are a happy day-Del Taco has 3 tacos for $1.00. Baskin Robins in Provo has cones for a dollar and you can catch a movie at Movies 8 for $.75.

Wednesdays features a deal I haven't yet explored and so I can't verify this, but I've heard that it is Whopper Wed. at Burger King. Whoppers for a dollar.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rhinotillexomania


Dinner time at our house is rarely a joyful, peaceful affair. On the contrary-It is a food flying, screaming, shove the food into my mouth, talk to Russ through shouts of
stop talking to daddy" flung at me from the mouth of my three year old, affair. Yesterday I had one of those days. Mondays are the pits and this one was no exception. What made it worse, I think, was that nothing should have been making it rotten. It just was because I was. So dinner is finally on the table and I'm mentally counting down the minutes and seconds until the happiness that is bedtime arrives, I glance over to notice Hannah fingering a pea with the apparent intention of sticking it up her nose. I launch into a tirade "Put that pea down now! If that goes in your nose, you'll have to go to the doctor. And you know how you hate the doctor. They'll stick some crazy instruments up your nose and you'll scream and hate every second of it." Then she has the gall to just laugh at me. She does this guttural, totally fake laugh that seems to mock my attempts at saving her and me from a trip to the doctor. But I'm too tired to care and I try really hard not to laugh at her laughing and I turn my attention back to my food, hoping above all hope, that she'll just decide to leave the pea/nose fascination alone. Of course this is not to be and I knew it all along, but I was too lazy to wrench the thirty peas off of her tray and toss them into the sink.

About a minute later Russ is informing my tuned-out self that Hannah is complaining about nose, nose, nose. I look up into the right barrel and sure enough a nice bright green ball is mockingly hanging out. In any sort of crisis situation my initial response is paralysis. While I'm frozen Russ is trying to beg and teach Hannah to blow it out of her nose. Based on our last happy experience of pomegranate-seed-up-the-nose with Gen, I know this is not going to work, so I finally snap into action and grab the bulb syringe. The site of the blue bulb of terror, sets Hannah off into wails of protest. See! I told you, you'd be sorry! After she's mercilessly held down by both her parents and I begin the sucking, the angry pea is moved down into her lower nostril, I grab and squeeze at the bridge and the pea shoots out of her nose with a plop on the table.

Seriously children--the obsession with sticking things up the nose, has got to stop or mother is going to be finding residence with a nice, in-patient facility somewhere in the rocky mountains.

Monday, February 8, 2010

B-Ball


I almost died the first week and seriously considered my sanity when I decided to don a nasty, heavy, sweat-infested jersey and play basketball with our ward. I haven't played basketball since YW basketball and well I haven't been running at all since winter decided to rear it's ugly head. So when I realize three-fourths of these people played high school or even college ball and are throwing out strategy and terms that make my head spin and make me question if I'm hearing Lebanese instead of English, I'm really wondering what I was thinking. But after convincing myself to go again for a second week, I'm loving not feeling like I'm going to puke and getting out and getting in shape and not realizing it because I'm having fun. Thank goodness the basketball stars let an amateur like me play.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A Queen in my King


I'm feeling better and one of the ways I can tell is that I had few reservations about strapping a king sized mattress and accompanying box springs to our poor little Subaru. Really, it's like the good old days when either me, or someone else would get a harebrained idea and I would totally think it was going to work. And the crazy thing is most of the time it would. I think my guardian angels must run ragged. Well this one worked too and we saved ourselves having to beg a truck or vehicle off some poor relative or forking out cash to rent something.

When my dad came to check out the new set-up, he shed forth his wisdom "You're just one step closer to divorce now." He has this theory that marriages stay together when you sleep on a smaller mattress. I have this theory that I'm more likely to stay in the bed and stay married, if I have my options. I feel like a queen in my king. And I fully take advantage of every opportunity to smother and cuddle up to Russ at every possible moment and then when it's time to get some sleep, I sprawl out in glee and sleep like a teenager. So Dad I hope your wrong because I really like my husband and my bed.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Friend Fest

I have some really amazing friends. I really don't know how I got so lucky. Someone must be paying them or something. Two Saturdays ago a few of them were able to come and party at our place. We ate yummy soup, fruit, bread and laughed over old year books, pictures and reminisced about the good old days. I think it's pretty sweet we all still like each other and still get together.



These two are getting hitched in July. I've always liked Lee and I'm so happy he found Lacie because she is awesome too.




Dave and Sheri just joined the crazy world that is parenting.



Julia and John



The Twins- (Call them to find out what to wear to the next gathering.)


The Hot Husband, Steve and the Twins


Mckenna and Greg


Alicia, Sheri and Cameron