I have ambitions and dreams. . .but luckily none of them involve killing royalty and setting myself up as queen. I don't plan on going crazy either. But that one might be more likely. Oh and I do occasionally mumble about "damn spots", but fortunately they are only regarding the incessant laundry.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
A few days ago I went to therapy. Supposedly in LA, it is very posh to have a therapist and almost all the cool kids do. Too bad I live in the real world where I'm pretty sure admitting you've gone to therapy is social leprosy. So hopefully I don't loose too many friends over my precarious admission. But I feel pretty strongly that there might just be some of the rest of you out there struggling with anxiety or depression or you most likely know someone close to you who is/has. I also believe that there is nothing wrong with admitting that you have a challenge and that you are doing all in your power to get better. And although I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make much of a dent in eliminating the stigma surrounding mental illness, I refuse to be afraid and ashamed anymore. I can't remember meeting many people who were viewed as tainted or somewhat ostracized when they had bronchitis, diabetes, polio or any other physical illness. Yet somehow, some erroneously believe that mental illness has nothing to do with genes, bad luck or circumstances beyond an individual's control. I would argue, that perhaps with most cases of mental illness, people are far less likely to "bring it upon themselves" than a lot of physical diseases, like Type II Diabetes. Don't worry, I've felt enough guilt and shame, beat myself up because I couldn't quite "snap out of it", for most of the world combined. Part of the joy of depression is that you're worse to yourself than anyone else could ever be. I was going to get myself out of that dark abyss without any help, if it killed me.
In the next few posts I want to focus on the story of my postpartum depression anxiety and perhaps shed some light on the subject as far as my experience goes.