Thursday, March 15, 2012

True Light

Nakusp- Heaven on Earth
In the darkest days and the times where I felt utterly alone, amazingly I found comfort from a loving Heavenly Father. I would pray and beg to feel better and although none of it would go away, there was a feeling of peace, love and empathy that would come. I was beyond feeling much of anything but utter despair. However, knowing and feeling that Christ was aware of me and my pain gave me hope. There were also many times where a thought would come to me about some way in which I could act in recovering. I would think of trying out a new avenue that had never occurred to me. I remember one night in particular I couldn't sleep once again and felt totally miserable. At this point I hadn't considered that I might be depressed and not just merely unhappy with life because it was unbelievably hard. And with a jolt of clarity a clear idea "your depressed" came to me. I have no idea why I couldn't figure this out on my own, but I definitely needed this idea to come and come with unequivocal certainty. And although there have been times I've been horribly miserable and frustrated with feeling alone and like no one was there for me, including God, but I know He has been there for me. I know He has placed people in my life who have helped me get better and saved me at crucial moments. And I know that I have felt Him with me. I know He knew and I believe He was quite possibly as miserable about my situation as I was. Trials suck and it's possible this one will always be lurking in my life, but I have hope and peace because I know that Heavenly Father and Christ will not forsake me. I believe that all of us have that promise. We are loved and we are never alone. 

*I think I just may be done with this saga of a story for awhile. I'm sure something will come up that I'll want to hash out, but until then, a return to the usual. Thanks for your support and kind comments. I hope you all escape experiencing anything that I have described, but if you have or no someone who has, I would be happy to chat or help in any way I can.

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