I need help. Here is my problem, Stew is a really sweet boy (see the above pic) and he's so much fun when he's constantly and I mean constantly being entertained, but left on his own for even a couple of minutes he begins to whine, then cry, then scream. So I spend most of my day feeling like a crazy woman who can't think straight because I'm trying to empty the dishwasher while my son is screaming. After twelve hours of switching off between feeling guilty, my arms falling off from holding Stew and feeling mentally exhausted, I can't bear the thought of doing it all over again. Genevieve was the same way and so perhaps it's my magnetic personality that my babies just can't tear themselves away from or maybe it's my parenting or maybe I just have high maintenance children. I know all of you out there are better parents than I am, so can you please lend your advice. What do I do? Do I just let Stew cry a lot of times throughout the day? I wonder if I can do that because it tears me apart and I feel horrible if I just let him cry. I barely make it through sleep training. But if I knew other people let their kids cry, then maybe that would help. I really just don't know what to do, but I'm going crazy. I can't get ANYTHING done. If he's awake, I can't do anything and if he's asleep then there is no way I want to do something that will wake him up. Especially because he's been a horrid nap taker and little sleep makes him even more clingy. And as far from getting something done, I don't mean making my house sparkle from top to bottom. I'm talking about wading through the mess to take a shower, or get a few dishes done. If you read, please comment.
7 comments:
This is hard. Can you put him in a high chair or bumbo on the kitchen floor and sing to him while you do dishes or cook? Is he interested in shows yet? You could put something on the laptop and bring it in the kitchen or something. I would put Alice in the high chair with toys and snacks when she was a baby.
Vhari, others may judge me, but I say, if he is fed, changed, and safe, let him cry a bit. Logan was a good baby, Tessa has always been a challenge. The first lesson I learned with twins is to get used to some crying. A few minutes here and there while you get the dishwasher unloaded, start laundry, cook dinner will not harm his self-esteem :) sometimes I would put some toys in the pack and play or put them in the bouncer in the kitchen? Maybe? And as for the previous post, I hope my guy is the Utah Lego possible future mate ;)
Let him cry a little Var. I'll call you soon. Good luck.
Sar
I have the same problem A LOT of the time. It has been getting better as Cannon gets more mobile and can scoot around on his own but there are days he just can't seem to function without being held. He really likes hard floors and seems to be able to entertain himself longer when on them. Sometimes giving him a lot of toys and sneaking away when he is not looking works. I let him cry a lot too. I don't know - if you crack this one, fill me in.
Hi Vhari! I'm sorry about your uncle. That is so hard! You have such faith.
I'm sure you have figured this all out by now. Stew is so cute.
I swear after all my kids I say "I am done...no more". It is so hard thinking about adding to your family when you already fill like a crazy, overwhelmed woman.
I don't have great advice for you. I have never had a baby be really attached (which in a weird way, is a little depressing : ) ). Parenting has been SO hard for me. I should have gotten my degree in parenting...why don't they have that?
I do think there is something to be said about this attitude: I am your mother. I love you. I care about you but I am not your slave. I am not here to save you from everything. When I'm talking, you will wait. When I have dishes, you can wait 5 minutes. I will not apologize from being away from you. I will go out and leave you with Dad or a babysitter for some alone time. These things make me a better mom. I am important and so are you.
See...you understand why all my kids are so detached to me :). I have learned that I can't let my kids take everything...because then I really am a crazy women.
You are such a good mother. Just pray. I get a little frustrated with all these parenting techniques. I just pray everyday for guidance. Good luck! You are amazing.
Hi Vhari! I'm sorry about your uncle. That is so hard! You have such faith.
I'm sure you have figured this all out by now. Stew is so cute.
I swear after all my kids I say "I am done...no more". It is so hard thinking about adding to your family when you already fill like a crazy, overwhelmed woman.
I don't have great advice for you. I have never had a baby be really attached (which in a weird way, is a little depressing : ) ). Parenting has been SO hard for me. I should have gotten my degree in parenting...why don't they have that?
I do think there is something to be said about this attitude: I am your mother. I love you. I care about you but I am not your slave. I am not here to save you from everything. When I'm talking, you will wait. When I have dishes, you can wait 5 minutes. I will not apologize from being away from you. I will go out and leave you with Dad or a babysitter for some alone time. These things make me a better mom. I am important and so are you.
See...you understand why all my kids are so detached to me :). I have learned that I can't let my kids take everything...because then I really am a crazy women.
You are such a good mother. Just pray. I get a little frustrated with all these parenting techniques. I just pray everyday for guidance. Good luck! You are amazing.
Why did it post twice? Sorry.
P.S. Mommy guilt is the WORSE! I think it is Satan's greatest tool on mothers. It sucks. Can I say suck?
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